The Ballad Of Southpaw Regional Wrestling: Will The Territory Survive???

Southpaw Regional Wrestling
Photo: WWE

It was 1987 in Mobile, Alabama. It was just a few weeks until Lethal Leap Year on February 29th. When suddenly, the news broke from the office that there was no Leap Year, no February 29, 1987. The territory had been working towards this big show all year!! Would the territory survive? What will they do???

How will Big Bartholomew win the farm back from Mr. Mackelroy? What will happen to the chickens?? Will Christian Joy continue to have to live on the street? Will Mackelroy’s Sea Creature be able to survive out of the water??

What about Impressive Pelvis Wesley finally making his debut? What about the Surf Dudes With Attitudes? What about La Barba Grande? Will champion John Johnson ever find a personality….or a microphone of his own to hold?

Will Susan call Chett Chetterfield back, easing his depression and solving his drinking problem? Will Lance Catamaran finally have enough and head back to Utica with his tail between his legs to beg for his news desk job back? Will the Ric Flair impersonator be able to sell a ton of Georgia Gold chicken??

And, then there is the story of Tex Ferguson and Chad 2 Badd. These two former friends are hellbent on destroying each other. Chad has sent Bad News Allen to take out one of his eyes. Then he sent Freddie Blassie, who filed down his teeth, to chew out the other eye. Then, he sent Greg Valentine to break Tex’s arm. Will someone help Tex find the ring? Will Chad continue to have the best hair in the territory, hair that a young Hiroshi Tanahashi idolized and grew up to mimic…although his will never be as glorious.

We need to know the answers to these questions!! This is worse than waiting to see who shot JR.

The suspense is killing us.

WWE dug this long lost tape up out of their archives, and the stars of Southpaw Regional Wrestling saw the light of day after 30 long years. These men and woman, who gave their all to the Mobile, Alabama, area, deserve to have their story told. And, fans, those that remember the good old days and fans just discovering the glory of SRW, need closure.

But, in all seriousness, WWE has unleashed this (currently) four part series, featuring everyone from John Cena to Chris Jericho to Tyler Breeze to Rusev and Lana, that is a mockery of the old Southern territories. Available on their website and their YouTube channel, these are hilarious. Maybe I enjoyed them so much because I actually remember the old Southern territories that showed up at 3:00 am on Saturday mornings on some obscure channel during the birth of cable television…or on one of the 4 channels we got with the rabbit ears living in Timbuktu in the South.

They are entertaining, funny, and it’s pretty obvious that the men and women from WWE who put these together had a blast doing it. This is the kind of quality content we want to see on WWE Network. I am seriously considering a GoFundMe to raise money to bribe WWE into keeping this series going. It’s just that great.

If you haven’t already, give it a watch. You won’t regret it.