WWE 205 Live Results (9/12/17): Holler If You Hear Breezango

Breezango make a surprise appearance with Drew Gulak on 205 Live

PHOTO: WWE

It’s that time again, only half an hour later. Cedric Alexander is recovering from his shocking loss at the tights-clutching hands of Enzo Amore. Rich Swann and TJP are definitely not in a best of series to determine the fate of their friendship. Mustafa Ali is around. The rhythm of 205 Live feels a little off tonight thanks to the addition of the Mae Young Classic finals, but the treasured time we do spend with them this week is pretty great, actually. Review and results below.

RICH SWANN VS. TJP, AGAIN (WINNER: RICH SWANN)

Why is TJP, a heel, wearing a Connor’s Cure shirt, while Rich Swann, a face, is wearing only a beautiful pink bomber jacket? TJP and Rich Swann seem to be on the outs, and TJP’s jacket is covering most of his shirt up during his backstage segment with Rich. The two met in a “rubber match,” which is definitely not the third of a best two out of three series, to determine the superior friend once and for all. The match is solid, though more reliant on mat wrestling than the faster paced offence both men are capable of. Rich’s mirrored sunglasses and pink jacket gave him a cool Bret Hart vibe that Swann took the top rope for a win over Perkins, seeming to destroy their friendship forever.

MUSTAFA ALI REMINDS CEDRIC ALEXANDER THAT ENZO STOLE HIS TITLE SHOT (WINNER: NOT CEDRIC)

Rude, but, “Enzo caught me sleeping,” Alexander explains. His smooth invocation of a classic meme summons weird Twitter king The Brian Kendrick, who takes a moment to rag on Cedric and somehow Jack Gallagher’s generation for being “all smiles.”

DREW GULAK VS. FINISHING HIS POWERPOINT (WINNER: THE CROWD)

Are you even asking these people if they support you, Drew? How many doors have you knocked on? Take a lesson from Kane and step your canvassing game up.

Honestly, I love Drew Gulak and his clean-shaven local politico gimmick with my entire heart. Let me buy his t-shirt. Let me buy his yard sign. “Last week I tried to put the ‘oh’ in 205 Live! As in, ‘oh wow, what an interesting PowerPoint presentation!” A man after my own heart. Drew laments that Akira Tozawa is off having fun being famous overseas. He does get to reveal the long-awaited third slide, with an incredible “no chants in hell” pun.

“What is that, a video game character?”

King's Tiger Mask Gear from Tekken

PHOTO: WWE

(Yes, that is totally Kazuchika Okada.)

The sweet wail of a siren signals the arrival not of Big Poppa Pump, but the Fashion Police. They’re beautiful, and make an “underpants” chant happen, as you do. They arrest Drew Gulak for his trunks, preventing Gulak from making his way through the remaining 272 slides of his PowerPoint. One day, Drew.

ENZO AMORE VS. BEING TAKEN SERIOUSLY AS THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER (WINNER: BABY MIZ)

We get a recap clip of the Miz vowing to defeat Enzo in the name of his unborn child, and the Miz rightfully beating the daylights out of Enzo for cracking a “who’s your daddy” joke about the future sixth-longest reigning Intercontinental Champion.

THE BRIAN KENDRICK VS. CEDRIC ALEXANDER (WINNER: THE FORCES OF EVIL)

Cedric Alexander is probably the most cruiserweight cruiserweight on 205 Live right now, and it’s fantastic to see him consistently getting matches that showcase his incredible aerial skill. The Brian Kendrick is a charismatic, if kooky dude, but Alexander has the star power to back up his skill and together the two of them put together a fast-paced and aggressive match. For a while, at least.

A stern Jack Gallagher interrupts, and to the visible shock of Kendrick and the crowd, brings his trusty umbrella down across Alexander’s back. After a vicious beating, Kendrick and Gallagher shake hands, cementing a new alliance. I trusted you, Jack.

That’s it for tonight’s edition of 205 Live. Tune in to the WWE Network and Top Rope Press again next week for another round of Everyone I Love Betrays Me, undoubtedly featuring the heartbreaking revelation that Drew Gulak does not actually have a 277 slide PowerPoint.